I was invited to speak at North Carolina Agricultural & Technical State University to the ladies of Bombshells in Business, an organization to equip women with the necessary experience to get their dream jobs. The founder Shelby Christie wanted to bring in a female entrepreneur that was an industry leader to help inspire the women on campus to follow their dream fearlessly. I had the privilege of speaking on the challenges I’ve faced since starting my design business as an 18 year old college student.
I jump-started the series by sharing with them how I turned my toughest challenge into a lesson that I applied to my personal and professional life.
Challenge: Allowing comparison to discourage me.
The majority of my friends I attended high school with continued on to universities and were on track to graduate within four years. My college career began at a community college where I stayed for a year and a half. I was doing so well in all of my classes and even earned a spot on the Dean’s List. With one more semester to earn my associates degree, I decided to go straight to the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. I wanted to attend a university like “everyone else” instead of continuing for one final semester. I did poorly at UNCC, took some time off, and eventually went back to the community college and earned my associates degree.
My parents have always placed such a large emphasis on college education and how important they think it is in order to live a successful life. They measure levels of success based on a college education and degrees obtained from a university. With that adopted mindset, I began to doubt whether or not attending college would determine how far I would go in life. When I earned my Associates in Arts degree, it was just like being handed a piece of paper. I still didn’t feel accomplished nor fulfilled. For one, I didn’t think I was making my parents proud, and for two, it still didn’t compare to what my peers were doing.
Until you let go of comparison and a need for approval, you’ll never be able to make it to the next step. Here are the 3 lessons I learned from comparison…
Lesson: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
1. Your path is different.
I had to realize was that my plan, my purpose and my destiny were on a different scale than the people I was being compared to. Does this mean that I’m better than others? No. It’s not a matter of being better, but it’s a matter of being different. My friends that attended college didn’t decide to start a business. They had goals of working a career job, and that’s what worked for them. As for myself, I love the life of being an entrepreneur.
[Tweet “Your purpose will lead you in places other people cannot see.”]
[Tweet “Purpose and branding is not a matter of being better, it’s a matter of being different.”]
Your route to success will differ from others because you’re traveling to separate destinations. It doesn’t make sense for you to be bothered by what anyone else is doing, especially if you’re not even trying to accomplish the same thing. The path that God created for you is neither better or worse, it’s different, because it’s unique. This is exactly why incorporating your purpose in your brand automatically makes you stand out.
2. You have to decide what you want.
Elevation Church Lead Pastor Steve Furtick once said, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone’s highlight reel.”
When we see people online or on TV and profess our admiration by saying thins like “I wish I had their relationship” or “I wish I had their life” I have to wonder why. Why would you want your life to replicate someone else’s? You determine how you want to live your life.
When we haven’t decide what our life should look like, we try to copy someone else’s idea of success happiness. Put more energy into what the universe has planned for you and you’ll stop wishing you had what everyone else has.
[Tweet “Don’t duplicate someone else’s life, define your own.”]
3. The grass is greener where you water it.
There’s no reason to want anyone else’s life other than the fact that you may not be putting enough energy into yours.
The grass is only greener on the other side because instead of tending to your own lawn, you’re busy admiring someone else’s. When you give yourself the 100% attention that you deserve, you’ll be the person that others admire, and more importantly, the person you admire. If I had focused on myself and not worried about what my peers were doing, I would’ve received my associates degree early on instead of wasting time and money.
Better yet, I would’ve dropped out of college sooner to focus on my business.
[Tweet “The grass is greener where you water it.”]
There are challenges to every glorified comparison you make. Nothing is as peachy as it seems. You decide what challenges are worth pushing through to reach the goals you want to achieve for yourself. When you compare yourself to others, you limit your God given talents. Be you. Because that’s who you are meant to be.
[Tweet “Comparison is an insult to your purpose.”]